The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the bokep memory of crot a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I crot crot bokeh was kept awake all night by a bokeh woman bokep in bokep a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should memek offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the bokeh delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh or porn sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new bokeh study from porn the ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what bokep most women know and porn memek all men dread – the louder bokeh the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance art, porn and memek sex as genuine intimacy. porn And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokep trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for porn a fragile male ego, crot bokep bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my bokep days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed to bokep faking bokep orgasms. It was crot generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, crot so they could make their bokeh partner feel happy, porn porn while conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This was the memek conclusion of another crot study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were crot all about manners bokep and bokeh ‘manipulation’, bokep bokeh and porn that women were prone to what they bokeh described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to crot encourage bokep their partners over the finishing crot line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the porn orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you bokep get a bloomin’ move bokep on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena memek is if your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where bokeh loud crot always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained porn that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you should be doing.’

crot Well, bokep only if memek you want to attract a certain kind bokep crot of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At porn Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the bokeh most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert crot nearby porn males that they were bokeh fertile and porn keen memek to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand bokeh the need to advertise. bokeh But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: porn the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris