The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve memek long crot been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept porn awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly porn that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for memek caterwauling) to the receptionist memek the next morning, crot she porn rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman porn an ‘actrice’, crot or memek sex worker.

Now, memek according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the crot greater the chance the crot orgasm is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, porn and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and bokeh is not fearing bokep for crot a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely bokep to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek bokep like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed memek to crot faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, porn and memek that crot women were prone to what they crot described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order memek to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like porn saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can memek you get a bloomin’ move bokeh on.’ Sound porn familiar, porn crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokep ‘As memek far as I’m concerned, memek that’s what bokep you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract a certain kind bokeh of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of crot our porn nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they porn were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex crot worker, bokeh I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep crot then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris